The Family Knows...

I have still been down playing the fact that I can do cakes and do them somewhat well. I really have no idea why still to this day. I just did it again. I do them well for no training at all. I do this because people know I am still working full time in my corporate job...an industry that I have become very accomplished in, I am now a mother of a 5 1/2 year old and I do try and cook 5 nights a week. I just had no understanding of Grace. How just being able to say "thank you," with a warm smile when someone gives you a complement is being graceful. I couldn't do that, I didn't understand how important that was.

Yes I will admit that I do get up at 5AM everyday-- this seems nuts to others, but this is my time of zen. Unfortunately for my mother my time of zen has existed since I was a baby and now for me my daughter likes to enjoy the same time zen. That is usually when I work on cakes before I go to work. The house is quiet, it doesn't impact time with my family. I love doing it, but I hadn't really let anyone in on my secret. The time was coming. My husbands family has a wonderful sense of tradition. This includes gathering for family holidays. I offered to bring the dessert. Missing my family traditions I decided to make a Yule Log. Something a attempted one year at my moms house without any fear.

My sense of perfection was still heavily ingrained in me. These were my in-laws. I was taking care of her son. I wanted to put my best foot forward. I made mergine mushrooms (made extras- goods snacks), secured real evergreen for decorations, brought cocoa powder for dusting and to top it all of made a second dessert as back up.

I thought the cake looked great--very controlled, just like Martha. Just like her picture- a perfect little Yule Log like out of a catalog. At the time she was who I sought to be like. The picture of perfection. That was before her jail sentence and before my daughter. I laugh now...I am more of a 30 minute meal kind of person and yes I have learned how to use the crock pot.

I now have requests for Yule Logs from my mother and my mother in law. I can say how truly flattered I am. The only different nearly six years later-- my daughter places the mushrooms, throws the cocoa with gusto--a much more organic look--I don't know if Martha would be proud, but I am proud. Gaining grace is a good thing.