Mom by Martha...

So i was now a mom. I gave birth in late October of 20004 to an amazing little girl. Right from the start she was incredibily resilent. She was born with a severe dairy allergy and reflux, but she did fuss or cry. It was if she knew that would be to much for me. My whole life I dreamed about being a mom and here I was a mom to an amazing little girl and I did know what to do with myself. Something was wrong so I spent the better part of four months acting like everything was great, super, I was a regular super mom. I mean when someone comes up to you and says "could you imagine your life without her" I wanted to cringe at the thought of answering that question. But it didn't matter I was doing mom by martha. All I wanted to do was go back to work so I did 10 weeks later. But deep down I knew something was off. I finally through the help of my mom and husband saw a wonderful specialist I was diagnosised with post pardum depression. I realized that being a mom did not fit into a matrix. Although schedules can be defined by rows and coluoms, love and care of booboos cannot. This was a new concept. Something that would take three and half long years to battle through.

But when it came to her first birthday I would find myself exactly where I swore I would never be-- a complete over the top birthday--60 adults, 25 kids in costume, center pieces, a photo station, kids tables, and of course a two tiered cake which my daughter couldn't eat because she had a dairy allergy. That did matter--it went with the theme-I was aiming for Martha here okay- (in case you are wondering I went to whole foods and bought her a vegan cake to smash her hands in). Everyone pitched in- my mom cut out pumpkins for center pieces they matched the fondant pumpkin patch on the bottom of the cake, my dad transported hay bails and corn stalks from 3 hours away which also appeared on the cake.

The two tiered cake was purple marbled fondant with a chocolate cake and chocolate gnache filling with a carefully crafted halloween scene. Hay stacks, pumpkin patch, witches, and a moon circled the cake. My techniques were improving, there was no template, but it was more for the show. Looking back, I can't believe I made a cake that my daughter couldn't even go near. I made a cake that went with the theme, how Martha of me.